World's funniest conspiracy theories for the dead

Conspiracies… Why do they exist, you wonder. Well, obviously because of gullibility, illogical thinking, and yes, somebody either trying to make money or have a laugh!

That's what trigger these completely mind-boggling tales. Mass media contributes of course, and now the internet has made all the more easy to promote them. When someone wants to believe, anything will do; facts don't matter. The more bizarre, the better.

1. Mumbai attacks 26/11 theory (the funniest one I've heard)
The Mumbai attacks were planned by India itself, just so that they can end up blaming Pakistan and get a reason to attack them. One of the news channels from Pakistan had some retired high ranking Govt. guy say - ''This is all planned by India to blam Pakistan. If you can see the terrorists are wearing the saffron threads on their wrists which is part of the Hindu custom, so they can't be Pakistanis.'' When asked what about the boat that they came by that was identified as coming in from Pakistani waters - ''The Indian terrorists simply took one of the boats that had confiscated and sailed it around for a while before returning to their original path to apporach Mumbai''.

Another pro-Pakistan retired Govt. official was looking at the bright side to all this - ''If India pulls off the scam that they've done, and end up attacking Pakistan, then Pakistan only will be in profit. Because once Pakistan is attacked, the US and the UN member will give charity money to Pakistan for redevelopment, amounting to a few billions, which we could use to settle of the $6 billion debt that we have with the World Bank. ''

2. The Michael Jackson Theories
He died years ago, and a lookalike has been taking his place till now. The Comeback Tour would have exposed him.

MJ is not dead at all, but the lookalike he uses for public appearances is the one who died. Why is MJ faking death? To get out of his $200 million debt, the lawsuits, and the media. He has now assumed a new identity.

It's not MJ, but Diana Ross who's dead. MJ will assume her identity (and thus get his children back as well!)

MJ is dead and has been buried without his brain, which is being studied in US government labs.
MJ has been killed by an experimental CIA bioweapon. Mahmoud Ahmadinejad had him killed to distract attention from Iranian protests. And yes; "Michael Jackson RIP" replaced "#iranelection" at the top of Twitter's trending topics.

MJ was assasinated by the CIA, after they uncovered the details of his deal with the son of the king of Bahrain, Sheikh Abdullah bin Hamad al-Khalifa. The Sheikh would bail him out of debt; in return, MJ would allow his sold-out concerts as a platform for warning the world about a soon-to-occur 'mass genocide event', which the CIA wanted to keep hidden.

3. Princess Diana
One, she faked her own death to escape the media.

Two, she was killed by the MI6 under orders from the Royal Family, to prevent her from marrying Dodi Al Fayed.

4. Kurt Cobain
Kurt Cobain, lead singer, song writer of the grunge band Nirvana was found dead at his home in Seattle, the victim of what was officially ruled a self-inflicted shotgun wound to the head. Drug overdose, suicidal behaviour, suicide note, gunshot to the head, gun lying in his lap. No, still room for doubt???!

Apparently, the amount of drugs in his system should have stopped him from doing something as complex as blowing his head off according to conspiracy theorists. So obviously the deed was done by someone else later. It was "murder" they proclaimed!

5. John Lennon
Killed by the CIA who was 'testing mind control techniques' on Mark David Chapman, who was 'being operated on remote control' by them. Another says he was actually killed by Stephen King, American author of contemporary horror fiction.

6. Elvis Presley
He's not dead, but alive (and going by the sightings, on a world tour for the last 32 years.)

7. Paul McCartney
Not alive, but died while still part of the Beatles and replaced by a lookalike.

8. The Notorious B.I.G. vs Tupac Shakur
American rapper Tupac was gunned down in a drive-by, and they never found who did it, though rival rapper Biggie was believed to have ordered the killing. Six months later, Biggie was killed. Interestingly, his last album before death was titled 'Ready to Die' and the one released posthumously afterwards was titled 'Life After Death'.

9. John F Kennedy
American President John F Kennedy was not killed by Lee Harvey Oswald; he was only the person to take the blame, and was 'conveniently' killed off in a few days by Jack Ruby to shut him up. Why? Depends on who you believe engineered it; different theories are around - the KGB, the Mafia, J Edgar Hoover, the FBI, the CIA, ex-president Nixon, Fidel Castro, or any militant communist groups. The CIA / Mafia is also believed to have been behind Marilyn Monroe's 'death', for knowing too much about 'Kennedy's links to organised crime'.

10. 9/11
9/11 was planned by the US government as an excuse to start the War on Terror and all the profits it would bring. Similar to another theory that said that Pearl harbour was allowed to happen, giving a perfect reason to enter the war, and that too at a time when all other players desperately needed help and were too weak to defeat the US. The next time around, think before you believe.